I'm back.  It's not like I was ever gone. More like on a hiatus from blogging.  So why start up again....

Well, I've been thinking about the interesting things that we see and experience each day, and how that impacts our reality. Or in my case, what I might dream about...how ridiculous it may be, and where those two intersect.   I have lots of dreams:  to play centerfield for the Chicago Cubs, be on Dancing With The Stars, retire early, shout at rude people on airplanes, and build a deep earth bunker in the backyard.  Yeah, not really on that last one, but the latest episode of Doomsday Bunkers does have me dreaming about becoming a Prepper (oh yeah, read on friends).

Why would you want to read my drivel?  Humor mostly. My creative outlet.  Maybe you'll chuckle out loud, or wet your pants (that would be so cool), or tell a friend, or give me another idea to write about.

So what do ya say? Subscribe via email to the right to get each post delivered to your in box. Or just bookmark this page.  I may need to work out some kinks along the way...but that's what makes this genuine. Can't tell you the frequency or topics of future posts, but I am confident I won't be short of content given what I see each day.  And I hope to conclude each with a "Pause...And Dream With Me" moment. Lets get it started, shall we?

Should You Become A Doomsday Prepper?

I went to run at our local rec center a few days ago, and the TV attached to the treadmill I picked out was already tuned to a show on the Discovery Channel (I think).  Normally I would switch to something sports related, but my attention was instantly drawn to the small words in the upper right corner of the screen "Doomsday Bunkers".  Whoa....couldn't get my headphones plugged in quick enough.  In short, this show follows the owners and employees of Deep Earth Bunkers, and their mission to help provide peace of mind to those average Joe's who believe others are out to get them, the sky is falling, the government has a conspiracy to control the weather, etc. and they need to protect themselves and their land.  Loretta in NY was one prepper highlighted. Some fine TV I tuned into.

Since I was on a longer run, I experienced the thrill of 90 minutes of the trials and tribulations of the Deep Earth crew and their clients.  One bunker was being constructed with an High-Def Periscope/video surveillance system that would resist an electromagnetic pulse event (EMP), and allow the prepper to see who was approach their land.  If that rogue gang of wrong-doers happen to breach the bunker door and venture down the steps, they would encounter a handrail on the stairs that is actually a flame thrower! Take that bad boys.  But, there is always the chance that the trespassers brought their own fire extinguisher and fire retardant wearables.  No worries, plan B kicks in - death spikes that drop from the ceiling.  Dang - that is prepared!  This bunker came with the small price tag of $50,000.  They now had my interest, and my checkbook out for an immediate deposit.   But then...

Loretta. She was a NY police woman for over 25 years, but is now concerned about fallout from a nearby power plant that happened to be built on a fault line.  Doh. That hinders home resale value.  But Loretta isn't too worried - you see she's a client with money to spare (blow?) - to the tune of $150,000 to build a 600 square foot bunker complete with kitchen, bath, sleeping accommodations for 10 (really 9, I've called dibs on one), storage for around 87 years of food, and two 500 gallon tanks for potable water.  She's a prepper times two!  Except....

Loretta doesn't want the bunker on her property near the plant, so she has purchased land 50 miles away for the bunker.  50 miles. 5 - 0. A prepper with foresight and the need for investment property.  But when the plant blows, she needs to get to her land, and is concerned about gridlock. So what does a prepper like Loretta do?  Takes a defensive driving class, of course. To learn how to ram through cars in her massive crown vic.  Like the fallout wouldn't get her before she gets to her second home.  Who puts their dream bunker 50 miles away!!  Loretta, that's who.  Holy crap. How many are out there like her???

And finally, the owner of Deep Earth Bunkers has an idea to build a tsunami proof pod bunker, complete with seats for two and ballast to enable it to stay upright when rocked by the big wave.  Oh, and it was able to withstand damage from a 2x4 being shot at it at 600 mph. And it was completely waterproof too. I started looking up the mailing address for his business so I could get the check in the mail.

Then I saw the flaw.  The bad guys always carry black spray paint, so my periscope would be worthless. Darn.  And Loretta's bunker?  No ceiling fan for the bathroom.  Major oversight when 10 of us have to go.  That model was out for me.  But all the bunkers? No fresh air filtration system.  I've seen enough 24 episodes with Jack Bauer to know that I'd be dead within hours. How can I breathe in a completely waterproof pod while enjoying a rollicking real-life version of the amusement park White Water Rampage ride.

So Pause...And Dream With Me. 

When I first started watching Doomsday Bunkers, I had great visions of a new Man Cave for our backyard - hidden from everyones view!  I could use my periscope to look at the mountains, munch on canned dry fruit, and drink the boxed wine that has been aging for the past 10 years.  ALL DAY LONG.  But then my reality hit.  I need to breathe.  I'll get my fresh air by running in the mountains of Colorado.  However... I am a bit worried about being on a running excursion, and accidentally trespassing onto a prepper's land.  If I have to start carrying spray paint and run in fire resistant clothes, I might need a bigger running budget.   I think $250k ought to do it.  For peace-of-mind.